All I Ever Really Wanted
by lil.miss.anonymous
Summary: ONESHOT. Love does work in its own mysterious ways, but what happens when he tries to make things work only to get his way? How can he cope being stuck between two close friends, both of whom he has fallen for? TrishxJohnxAshley


AN: Hello everyone! I came up with an idea of a fanfic some time ago, but wasn't sure if I should go ahead and post it. I don't have it written yet, mainly because I wanted to see first if people might actually want to read something like what I have in mind. This one-shot is pretty much like the story that I have an idea of. I'm hoping that you would like this little one shot (that I honestly just kind of hurriedly wrote today, hee) and the pairings as well (I don't think I have seen a triangle between Trish, John and Ashley before)…and please don't forget to review! =)

**ALL I EVER REALLY WANTED**

Summary: Love does work in its own mysterious way, but what happens when he tries to make things work only to get his way? How can he cope being stuck between two close friends, both of whom he has fallen for? TrishxJohnxAshley

* * *

"Damn." She silently muttered before opening her eyes. Though her eyes were shut, she could see the light coming from her window. And that certainly wasn't something she wanted to see with the throbbing headache that she had.

She sighed heavily as she looked at the alarm clock on the table behind her bed. 9:24, it read. She simply cursed under her breath as she ran her hand through her hair. First time in her high school life that she overslept and missed her first two classes.

As she stubbornly pushed the blanket off of her and struggled to get up, she tried to recall what happened the night before. How she, as unusual as it sounded for her, finished her homework early and ended up going there. How she ended up seeing him, after trying to avoid everyone she knew. How she tried her best to drown her feelings and thought she was successful at it, but still ended up crying herself to sleep.

Never in her life had she ever drunk any alcoholic beverage. And not once in her life had she stepped in a bar. Only last night, when she didn't know what to feel, what to think, what to do.

_She can picture herself last night—still having the innocent look in her face, as she's never been to a place like that before, she sat in one corner and ordered a bottle of beer. She's never done this before. Heck, she wasn't even sure what to get herself. All she was sure of was that she wanted to drink something that could wash the confusion from her. _

_She took the first gulp as tears once again started to well up in her eyes. Second gulp turned into her second bottle, and the third, and the fourth. She then started feeling lightheaded and she started to lose her balance, though she was just sitting. _

'_So this is how this drink takes effect,' she remembers thinking to herself at that time. She then pulled out her money—the one she had been saving the past few months—and paid for what she had swiftly consumed. _

_She slowly pulled herself toward the exit, holding on to any form of railing she could use to keep herself standing. She felt cold, but she could feel herself perspiring at the same time. She gathered her strength to push the door and she took her time feeling the cold air brush through her skin the moment she was outside._

_The place was just two blocks from where she lived so she did not need to bring her car with her. 'Who needs a car anyway when you expect yourself to come home drunk?' She asked herself. As she started walking—unconsciously with spaghetti legs—someone grabbed her by the arm._

"_What did you do in there?" He questions her as soon as he made her face him. Smelling the alcohol from her breath, and looking at her now rosy cheeks, he didn't wait for an answer. "How the hell did you even get in there?"_

"_John, stop asking me." She grumpily replied, trying her best to brush his hands off of her. _

_Seeing that she nearly lost her balance as soon as he let her go, he held her by the arm again. "Why were you in there?"_

"_Why does it even matter to you?" She asked back. "How did you even know that I'd be here?"_

"_I followed you when I saw you strolling a while ago." He answered. "Got a problem with that?"_

"_Yes. So leave me alone." She answered, attempting to walk away from him._

"_How did you get in there?" He questioned her again, following her. "You're not allowed to drink yet."_

"_I have my ways, Johnny." She mischievously giggled. _

"_Trish, you're not even—"_

"_I don't care if I'm not allowed to, John!" She hazily screeched. "I'm eighteen, I'm free. Nobody tells me—"_

"_That's the thing, you're eighteen." He answers with concern. "Drinking age is twenty-one. I know you're smarter than that. And since when did you learn how to be such a rebel?"_

"_I'm eighteen, and I can do what the hell I want to do with myself." She answers and continues, although not sure what to say next. "Drinking age in Canada is eighteen."_

"_You're not in Canada anymore, missy." He stops her from walking._

"_And you're not my dad, mister." She fired back. _

"_You're drunk." He stated with an exasperated sigh. "Let's get you home."_

"_I don't need your help, I know my way." She grumbles, nearly losing her balance._

"_Trish, what the heck is your problem?" He questioned, slightly raising his voice. "You've never acted this way before! Not until—"_

"_Not until you made everything complicated." She cut him off. "So, yes, you are my problem. Thank you very much."_

_He didn't know what to say to her after she told him that. He liked her. He loved her. Being stuck in this situation between her and her best friend—his girlfriend—made him feel like hell. But hearing her tell him that he was the reason why she was doing this made him feel worse._

"_I'm sorry." He whispered, not being able to look straight in her eyes this time. "I-I understand." _

"_You don't know how it feels." She answered. "And you'd never understand how I feel."_

_She attempted to walk away from him, taking a few small steps to make sure she keeps her balance as much as possible. _

"_I love you." She heard him say. She stopped on her tracks and felt the need to gather herself all over again. He walked in front of her to make sure they're facing each other once again and continued. "I've loved you…even before I've learned to love her."_

"_Don't do this to me, Cena!" She cried as she repeatedly hit him hard on the chest. She couldn't stop the tears now. "Stop filling me with your lies!"_

"_That's the entire truth, Trish." He replied, stopping her from hitting him. "I'm not lying anymore."_

"_I'm so tired of this." She whispered. "Leave me alone, John. Stop it. I'm begging you. The last thing I want to do now is to have anything to do and associate myself with you."_

_He felt his heart crumble as he heard her say those words. Of all people to hear those words from, why did it have to come from her? He gently let go of her hands and kept his sight on the ground. "I-I'm sorry." He managed to say._

_And with that he let her go. He didn't follow her. He didn't ask her all the other questions he wanted to ask her. He didn't look at her. And he didn't care if she staggered her way back home. He left her alone, just as she wished._

_

* * *

_John's POV

_As I walked back home, I didn't know what to think. I had no idea what to feel, and I certainly was clueless as to what I should do._

_Trish, from the very beginning, just stole my heart. How she did it, again, I don't know, but she did it. I remember the first time she ever smiled at me. It instantly brightened my day. And then she introduced me to her best friend, Ashley, and tells me how close they've been since the first time they've met._

_I wouldn't deny it; Ashley was definitely an eye candy. Attractive, funny, yet simple and down to earth. But Trish was still different. Beautiful, casual, simple, and very smart. Sometimes it'll just strike you to think how these two ladies don't have a boyfriend yet. But that was back then._

_I was thinking of a way I could get close to her. One thing that I didn't seem to understand was why she was very distant. Every little conversation with her that I tried to start seemed to come to an end a little too early than I expect and I didn't like it that way. I wanted us to get closer, more together, if I might add. _

_And one morning, it all started. That morning…when I had the craziest idea of telling her that I liked her best friend. Not her. And I'm doing this not to make her jealous. That scheme used by many to see how their crushes react seems too old to me. I didn't do it to make her jealous. I didn't say it to see how she would react. All I wanted was one thing—more conversations, more time together—alright, maybe it wasn't just one thing, but you get the point._

_I decided that if I tell her that I like Ashley, and ask for her help to get 'closer' to her best friend, maybe, just maybe, there would be more reason for us to talk, and perhaps even meet after school. Such a hoper, ain't I?_

_What I had in mind, in the beginning, seemed to do me good. More time together than usual, more talkies, and more things to talk about. However things got a little complicated soon after. Turned out Ashley secretly liked me. And Trish told her that I 'liked' her. That's when I started to believe that my idea—probably brilliant at first, and perhaps pretty crazy—was actually somewhat a stupid one. _

_When I told Trish that I was 'interested' in her friend, I left out the possibility that this could happen. I didn't consider that the time would come when Trish herself would try to find a way to get us together…make us talk and spend more time…and help me make my supposed move to earn Ashley's trust. It's not like I haven't at that time, but for formality's purpose, I had to at least look like I was trying._

_Fast forward a little bit, and I found myself liking Ashley. Not just simply liking her, but I've learned to see something in her that makes me want to be with her. And then the confusion begins. I know I've learned to love her—we even ended up seeing each other on a regular basis—but Trish was still there...somewhere deep inside that no one knows. Heck, I'm not even sure of it. But I was pretty sure it didn't sound right. And I knew it definitely wasn't right._

_How can you hook up with someone you love, but at the same time love her best friend? Only fools do that, and I'm pretty certain I can call myself that now. _

_And then everything happened so quickly, I didn't even know what hit the three of us. Tuesday, I found myself needing to open up to someone before I explode with all the confusion and guilt in me and so I told Randy everything—how it all started, how I felt, everything. And then I asked him what to do and he couldn't even give me a clear advice. _

_And then it appears Ashley heard the conversation. Not the entirety, but she heard enough of it to feel hurt. The part when I told Randy that I basically 'used' her to get close to Trish. And how Trish probably knows by now, which I think she had misinterpreted._

_The past few days you just wouldn't see the two together. They wouldn't sit next to each other like they used to. And Ashley would just give her looks that could kill. All because of me. And Trish wasn't the only victim here. I am too. She hadn't talked to me in days and has obviously been avoiding me. I tried to explain and talk to her, but she wouldn't even give me a chance to speak to her. She just closed herself from me. And that in a way scares me, because I already have had feelings for her._

_And then tonight happens, I follow Trish to a bar—though not following her inside—and not believing what I see. How can Trish—the good girl, the shy, quiet, demure young lady that I've known for months—get out of a bar drunk? And then it hit me hard when she told me that I am the cause of all this. Too much for my stupid little move at the beginning of the year, eh?_

_I'm not sure how to settle this problem with the girls. As a guy, it sure would build up your ego when you hear two girls 'fighting' over you…but not when you're in a situation like mine. It feels a lot like hell to be in my shoes. To wake up in the morning dreading seeing either of them because you know that's when the guilt would start eating you up again. To walk around the hallways and seeing either one of them give you dagger looks. To see a very tight-knit friendship now fading away, now ruined only for your personal interests._

_And then a question enters my mind. What if I had to choose between them? Would it be the girl that I've liked ever since who now tells me that the last thing she'd ever do is to associate herself with me? Or would it be the girl that I've eventually learned to love—although not as much as I love the other—and am now in a relationship with?_

_I put all my thoughts to halt, along with my walking, when I see that I've reached my house. Before entering, I took my phone out of my pocket, and dialed a number. I don't expect her to pick up the phone, but I decided to leave her a voicemail._

"_I know you're not talking to me. But this is important." I started. "We need to talk. I'll meet you at the cafeteria tomorrow, lunch time." And with that, I end the call and enter my house._

_

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_AN: A little cliffhanger wouldn't really hurt now, would it? Hehe. I apologize that Ashley was just mentioned and not really _in_ the story, but it's hard to fit it all in a one-shot. I'm hoping that you liked it, though. I have a certain number of reviews that I would want to get from this one shot before I go ahead and actually write the entire story, so if you would want to read the full story behind this one shot, don't forget to give me a review for this one! All comments are appreciated. Thanks! =)


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